mY pLaygRouNd

drama's over...

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 11:25:11 GMT

I seriously couldnt remember how long I've been blogging anymore...its been awhile and I must tell ya, this blog has been a witness to every drama, triumph, happiness and love in my life. But just like what they say, all things must come to an end. I'm leaving...I'm moving on and this blog will just be a sheer remembrance of the years I had. Every once in awhile I'll be peeking through the pages to laugh and smile about the past...

I dunno...Am I gonna start blogging again? Maybe...maybe not...

PEACE OUT...I certainly had a wonderful time sharing life with ya'll...

xoxo

klaubette

anak bakit gusto mo ng rock PART II

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:31:45 GMT

SCENARIO: nena looking for her towel while daddy is texting

nena: pa nakita niyo ba yung towel ko?

daddy: aling towel yung me mga bungo?

nena: korek yung black and white.

daddy: tinapon ko na.

nena: anong tinapon?! bakit niyo tinapon?!

daddy: bibilan kita ng bago, ang panget panget naman nun.

nena: o kamown!!! wag niyo sabihin dahil nanaman ito sa mga skulls na design nun! favorite ko kaya yun towel na yun! what is up with my fascination with skulls and rock?! (going balistic and teary eyed)

daddy: o ayan na (sabay hagis ng towel sa akin), iyakin ka naman pala. walang addict na iyakin. mg boypren kana para di ka nalulungkot.

nena: confused...thinking "WTF"

I tell you...this family is a retard. I have a feeling that if I didn't give my dad a grandchild by the time he's 47 (which is like 4 years from now), he's gonna force me to marry some self absorbed chinese millionare who jacks up on his free time. holy crap!

anak bakit gusto mo ng rock?

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 08:09:23 GMT

scenario: nena drinking coffee infornt of da kompyuter at 10am while listening to "cries in vain" by bullet for my valentine. while dear daddy is sitting behind her having breykpast.

daddy: kaninong kanta yan? sayo?

nena: mp3 tawag dyan papa *laughing*

daddy: o fine fine mp3! kanino yan sayo?

nena: korek! ganda ano?

daddy: anak bakit gusto mo ng rock?

nena: wala lang maganda eh

daddy: mukhang malabo talagang mgka apo na ako sayo. puro rock ang mp3 mo. puro ka gimik puro inom. party ka ng party. ni wala kang boypren.

nena: choking...almost died...

new year

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 05:59:10 GMT

It's never too late for the yearly survey...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
parteeeeeeeh!! i mean the other party party if you know what i mean

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Just like last year...I don't like making New Year's resolutions. I forget them or end up not following them. (see this was my answer last year)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yes!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope

5. What countries did you visit?
none

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
a whole lot of patience and wisdom

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm not sure why I don't remember the dates that I was suppose to remember...maybe because it wasnt really meant to be "etched" upon my memory

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
moving out of my comfort zone

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't see and consider them as failure more like lessons learned the hard way....and I still do...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?
sony T10 camera for those camwhoaring moments!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
me?! LOL

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
let's just say that he's been making me depress for the past 4 years but just doesnt know it.

14. Where did most of your money go?

out of town trips, shopping, debts (LOL)

15 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
family reunion, boracay and school

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
COLD and INVINCIBLE-crossfade, HUMANAP KA NG PANGET-andrew e, I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU and GONE FOREVER - three days grace, MORE THAN ANYONE- gavin degraw and ECHO- trapt

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? definetly sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
saved more money and been more wise of my actions

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
bitch and party

20. How will you be welcoming the NEW YEar?
with family

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
I am always inlove

23. How many one-night stands?
one

24. What was your favourite TV program?
I loved everything on ETC

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes

26. What was the best book you read?
none

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
rock! \m/

28. What did you want and get?
freedom

29. What did you want and not get?
oh crap you know what I didnt get stop asking haha

30. Favorite film of this year?
transformers and 300

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
had lunch with friends and dinner with my bestfriend. I was 23

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a tattoo

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
same same

34. What kept you sane?
booze, smokes, friends and family oh and off course shopping

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
John Travolta, Bernard Palanca (always been the two of them) and oh god...that John Joe from MTV and Derek Ramsey...kamown! still the same baby...

36. WHo is your real-person crush?
*grins*

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
I seriously didnt give a shit this time

38. Who did you miss?
April, percy all my RMH bitches

38. Who was the best new person you met?
carl, jon and mary

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Life's too short not to enjoy things around you. Always make the best out of what you have. You're only young once.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

It's My Life-Bon Jovi

Am off to Batangas again tommorow!

08'

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 05:53:28 GMT

Yeah writing a new year�s entry on the 11^th day of the year isn�t exactly what I intend to do, but I was too busy and pre occupied that it�s only now that I finally found the time to blog. A lot has happened. Besides having a tan and a sun burn in boracay and off course partying and getting wasted in the island, life has never been more relaxing for the past year. I�m still trying to think what I will do when all this fun is over (it�s almost over).

I was reading entries from last year�s New Year post and funny how I found this entry about me being thankful to the person that I WAS inlove with and being INLOVE with someone that I never was inlove with in the first place. Then I found this entry with all the things that made my 2005 worth remembering. I kept on trying to think of things that made my 2006 worth remembering, I was wondering what the heck is wrong with me that I can�t even think of a decent memory. Then I realized maybe it is because I never wanted to remember most of them anymore. 2006 was my make or break year. I had an all or nothing dilemma for the whole year, I was too careful not to lose anything but I ended up losing those that I never wanted to lose, feel things for someone that I never want to feel again and do things that I never wanted to do. And after all that there was just one thing left to realize and that is you can never really tell what lies ahead of you. Could be a bad thing, could be good it could even be both. It�s just a matter of making the best out of what you have now and not worrying what lies ahead.

update

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 07:01:35 GMT

Wow i almost forgot my blogdrive password. how long has it been? writers block? naahhh more of like being too dumb and numb (and it ryhmes) to write anything. crap. Nope life hasnt been boring. its waaayyy too far from that actually. I was in batangas on the last week of nov up to the 1st week of dec. then my cousins and aunts from aussi and my family were have been hanging out alot. we went to one of my neice's debut party (yeah right i feel so freaking old), then we went to ocean adventure to watch the whales and the sealions and the other under water creatures and then there's christmas. I havent had that type of christmas where almost everybody in my moms side of the family was there. we all grew up so tight that even if were miles apart from each other, doest really matter if we havent seen them in like 6 years. we're still tight when they come home for a visit. then there's gonna be new year. then we'll go to cavite to visit relatives of course. Then my fav cousin kayna will arrive on the 1st with john her aussie bf. and then a week from now there's boracay. eeekkkk!

im not sure what im gonna do with my life after that. i wont be in school till june since one of my aunt's suggested i should try applying in australia for a trourist first. crap...great just great aint it. I dunno whats up with me and going down under (well not that DOWN UNDER that some of you are thinking down BOY). I miss my cousins and my lola and all my other relatives. I hated the fact that they were all there exept for my family and the fact that they all grew up together without us kinda sucks. And every once in a while there would be moments where I wonder what life would have been like if our papers for migrating was prosessed earlier and we grew up with them. But most of the time I worry about what my life would be like living there. I never wanted to leave the country, call me stupid but I dont know. Im so scared of leaving the people that I love behind. My friends and yeah HIM. It's pathetic I know. So..we'll see what Ill do about being a tourist in AUSSIE...we'll see if I'm actually gonna process those papers.

hey HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE...oh yeah and belated MERRY CHRISTMAS...

lovelife

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 09:18:03 GMT

Bakit wala pa akong boyfriend after 6 months and 20 days? Lagi nalang issue ang dramang yan sa bahay namin whenever the topic of lovelife comes up. Lalo na sa tatay ko who thinks Ive joined some kind of cult who will never get married and will just listen to rock songs for the rest of their lives. According to him my current addiction to rock songs are starting to be disturbing. WTF! Again...bakit wala pa akong bf after exactly 10 months?! Dahil sa...

1.Committment - Sa lifestyle ng lola niyo ngayon Im not sure kung kakayanin ng powers ko na maistorbo ng sangkatutak na text kung saan hinahanap kana at ngdedemand na mgreply ka sa mga text niya pagtapos madaming madaming miscol na lalong nakakapag pa lowbatt ng phone mo habang ikaw eh busy sa pakikipag bangkaan sa mga ka inuman mo at basag na basag ka. O kaya habang ngyoyosi ka mgisa at ng eemote. Nakakasira ng trip...

2.Financially - Utang na loob ha. Napaka raming gastos sa buhay ko ngayon. At kapag ngka boypren ako Ill be obliged to buy him a birthday christmas minsan pati anniversary gift pa. At minsan dahil likas na adik ako eh baka pag me nakita pa ako sa mall na maganda at alam kong gusto niya eh mega buy pa si nena para sa boylet niya. Magdidildil nalang ako ng asin niyan.

3.Mentally- Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero may pagka retarded talaga ako eh. Demanding ako sa lahat ng aspeto. At kung minsan isip bata ako. At sa panahon ngayon sino pa ang mgttyaga sa retarded na babeng tulad ko na merong malaking posibilidad na maging phsyco pag nabbadtrip?! Isa pa...I dont have a patience of a saint. Pag galit ako galit ako.

4.Obligation - Kailangan ko pa ba i-explaine ito?! Minsan naiisip ko kung handa na nga ba ako sa mga maddramang obligasyon ng isang relasyon. Syempre you always have to think of the other person involve. Di pwedeng parating yung feelings mo nalang ang importante. You have to be sensitive. You have to act right infront of his family and his friends para di ka masabihan ng masama. Sakit sa ulo..

5. Lackness - Lackness of ano?! Lackness ng matinong lalake. Duh. Sinong abnormal na lalake ang mghahanap ng seryosong relationship if he can get the same perks of having a gf from a girl who like him doesnt want commitment. Uso na ang FB mga kaibigan...Isa pa...paano ka nakakasiguro na hindi ka ginagago ng bf mo?! Kahit gaano ka kamahal niyan kapag nangati yan at merong malanding babae ang ready kumamot ng galis niya eh sorry nalang. On the brighter side he always comes back to you anyway...BULLSHIT di ba?!

6.Rockstar missing - Napaka simple...dahil wala pang rockstar ang ngpapa giggle sa lola niyo...baka ntraffic o nastuck sa gig niya. O baka naman hindi niya pa alam na ako ang soulmate niya.

Bottom line is...it all boils down to the fact that Im not yet ready to take the plunge again. Most of the time I miss the feeling of being loved and loving someone. Of having someone to watch a movie with or go to the mall with. Minsan talaga even if you have friends who constantly do those things with you...iba pa rin kapag bf ang kasama mo. But then again getting into a relationship aint just about dinning out or watching a movie. Its about patience. Giving and Taking. About understanding and honesty. About trusting each other and about loving unconditionally. And again LUST and LOVE are totally different.

Sometimes I wonder if its ever possible for someone to be all that for the person that they love and then I look back and realize that I was once like that to someone...infact I still am. If the right guy comes along at kapag kaya ko na sagutin ang tanong ni Kuya edu na NENA GAME KNB?! ng GAME NA!!! well...yun na yun. I need to learn to love myself first. For the meantime tulad nga ng sabi ni bebang na kapitbahay namin sige lang ng sige...porokos lang ng porokos habang single pa. Pag nagka bf kana titino ka din...

resigned

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 11:07:47 GMT

I felt so bad leaving the company that has become my home for almost 2 years. I never wanted to leave. I've always told friends that my love for Convergys was the carino brutal type...but then I remember saying once that,if there's just no reason for you to stay anymore, if its making you think twice why you're there and why you're doing what you're doing then its time for you to move on and see the world out there. I realized that maybe this is a sign, that even if this is what I do best, its time for me to try other things and discover some other things that I can do better. The long hours of work (including the weird schedules), the stupid and irate people that you have to deal with every single day use to be an easy thing to ignore. But I slowly got tired and going to work every day seems to be unbreable. The only thing that keeps me going are friends, stability and off course the salary. And then all this shitty thing happened. The higher people tried power tripping and they freaking enjoyed it, they enjoyed it very much that they started to get rid of people who speak their mind and talk shit (but true things) about the company. I was in the list...third on the list actually. I was once told that I have a very strong personality. I wasnt sure if I was gonna take that negativly at that time...now I know. I have a heavy heart on leaving, but I wasnt gonna let some power tripping unprofessional OM (ah fuck off) ruin my 2 freaking years of CLEAN service. The devil in me tamed down all because I though that I have finally found the best place to work.

Everything started getting to vague for me. I was sad and was planning to leave but I never expected I had to leave this early. I started finding anaswers. The people that keeps me going and makes my day at work all worth while are all gone, the stability just aint there anymore and I started realizing that there are so many other companies and opportunities out there that can give me the same amout of salary...even better.

When I first found out about what's happening, the first thing that came to mind was my two years is gone. It was a total waste of time. My two years was wasted being a phone monkey and dedicating my time and effort to this company. And then someone made me realise that no it wasnt after all a waste of time. I had a great time working there and I met amazing people that I adore. I learned alot of new things and yeah wasted a hug amout of their money on shopping and gimiks (grin). Tsk its hard to leave, but I need to move on.

So yeah, I did. I did resigned and it was immediate. I couldnt bare being in that place pretending to be all jolly for the people that I work with. I am sure gonna explode any time soon if I continued going to work and it aint gonna be pretty. I'm an official BUM. I'll start looking for a job after the holidays (holidays are the only thing that keeps me sane this days), being a BUM and doing nothing for two days plus the weird sleeping habits (like waking up at 2am and falling asleep at 3pm) are making me NUTS I'm telling ya. But hey...I swear I can never be thankful of the freedom that I'm feeling right now...�

AND HERE's TO MY 2 BLISSFUL YEARS...

LOGOUT

this entry is brought to you by the letter H

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 09:24:48 GMT

TO YOU:

It's just been almost a month, and being the retard that I am; I seriously feel like I LIKE YOU, yeah well I do. I have this weird fetish on english speaking dash smart dash dominant slash suplado men. And obviously you belong to that specie. And again...because I'm a retard I like chasing after men who doesnt like me back. I see the challenge in being after people that I can't have and it seems like I am more attracted to those who treats me like shit. Fucking masochist I tell you.

We've gone out twice.

The first one was well...yeah planned. But it wasn't the usual "date". I even made rules, and no one's suppose to break them. Because after all, I've been through that same situation before and the ending aint pretty. Until I realized I like you...bad cheetah!

It took me awhile to admit that I like you, but I did. There's just no point in lying to myself about that. And then I told you that I just LIKE you and not LIKE LIKE you, whatever that means...it still confuses me.
Then the second one wasn't at all planned. It just happened and the next thing we know we were walking down to ortigas Ave. on a rainy night. You off to work while I was to meet up with a friend. No I won't say a word about what it feels like to hang out with someone of the male specie again...NOT A SINGLE WORD.

I was fucking gushing like a highschool girl because of one freaking movie...I had fun, IT WAS FUN. No physical contact of some sort (ME disapointed about that?! Maybe...maybe NOT), it was a clean "unplanned date".

But this is all getting too tiring...I hate playing mind games. I was so over that and even promised myself that next time things would be different, besides a friend once told me that if a man really likes you and if THIS IS REALLY IT, everything should be effortless. Coming from someone nobody ever thought would fall inlove...that must be true.

And then I realized how stupid all this is...I'm getting tired of running after someone who doesnt like me..."para akong tanga...para akong lalake na kapag nakuha na ang gusto eh iiwan nalang at mgsasawa ang isang bagay (and or tao)." I don't wanna play this game anymore. I guess things would be easier and life would be a breeze if things are less complicated. So now...I want things to be as simple as they can be. Again, this is who I am. I laugh out loud, I curse alot, I party alot, I talk alot, I tend to act like a 3 year old kid sometimes and I have tendencies of being a jealouse bitch. But this is who I am, I am not going to feel bad because of who and what I am. If you like me too let's cut all the crap and bullshit and just be together. If you don't like what you see...then just walk away. Simple as that...

In a way it was like washing your laundry in public and, yep, there you go, you've seen my underwear, you've seen all my rubbish, you've seen me putting out the trash. And now I feel like there's nothing left, you've seen it all and I can get on. In a weird way, that's kind of wonderful. I was an idiot. I behaved badly. I made mistakes. Who hasn't? But this is who I am...and this is who I'll ever be...take it or leave it bitches...

xoxo

klaubette

23 things I learned at 23

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:57:43 GMT

This is the exact same entry I posted last year. Well I only added number 23. Shet, its really my birthday. Doesnt feel like it though. But hey seriously I'm just thankful for so many things.

"It's all about changes, making decisions, being happy and living life to the fullest."

1.Almost all things done on impulse (ie: haircuts, shopping purchases, men) are 80% more likely to turn out as catastrophes (tears, remorse, regret, contemplations of suicide) rather than sweet triumphs.

2.Love is a Vacuum. It sucks you in and no matter how much you try to hold on to something, you'll find yourself being pulled into it and then after that, you can't find your way out.

3.Turtle cheescake is called turtle cheescake because its a shape of the turtle's shell

4.Jealousy is a disease

5.Sometimes you have to break even your own rules to free your heart

6.Whining about how much your life sucks does not help at all. either you get with it or get over it!

7.Everybody talks shit about everybody,it all depends on how you handle things on your own.

8.No one will hurt you if you don't allow them to...

9."BE THE PLAYER, NOT THE TOY!" (c/o APRIL)

10.Focus on the goal of having a happy life. When someone hurts you, ask yourself whether you would rather be happy or right? Choose happiness

11. A girl can never have too many shoes.

12. A broken heart is the world's great equalizer,because it can bring even the strongest man to his knees.

13.TRUST, HONESTY and UNDERSTANDING are the most important things in a relationship

14.NOTHING beats constant prayers...they always work

15.Too much of a good thing is bad

16.You will always fall inlove again

17.Men will always be men

18.Action and hidden email speak louder than words (AGAIN! c/o APRIL)

19. You don't know what you got till its gone

20. True friends will always be there with you no matter how poor or stupid you are. They will always love you for what and who you are.

21.Money doesn't buy class

22.I'm getting older and I'm glad I was able to over come all the trials and sh*ts that passed me by. The trials and problems even heartaches doesn't stop here, everything happens for a reason.

23. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

"Leaving a love your suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking, but it also shows ur strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy. moving out of your comfort zone can be down right scary but it also proves how strong you are to take the unknown. stronger, braver, wiser. you always do a little growing up everytime you do a little letting go."